


Two Souls in One

by Suruntuoja



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Boston Bruins, But it will be sweet. I promise, M/M, Rated for teen and up for swearing and mentions of pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 17:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18855292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suruntuoja/pseuds/Suruntuoja
Summary: As far back as Jake could remember, his soulmate’s heartbeat had always been there, right next to his own.





	Two Souls in One

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @kureally (Tumblr) for being my beta!
> 
> If you are a person mentioned in this story, please move along. This is a piece of fiction, written and published purely for fun.
> 
> \- -
> 
> This story is set in early 2018, when Charlie had the heart procedure done irl. I tried to be as realistic with everything as I could. I'm not completely sure if Anders was in the lineup during that particular time period, but he's been up and down so much I wouldn't put it past him.  
> The name of the fic comes from the Cain's Offering song "More Than Friends".

As far back as Jake could remember, his soulmate’s heartbeat had always been there, right next to his own. His parents said that he hadn’t been even two when he’d first told them about it. And it had probably been there even earlier than that, before he had enough words to tell anyone.  
Jake had always found comfort in knowing that the heartbeat had been there nearly since the beginning – that there was something permanent in this constantly changing life. Its ever-steady presence reassured him whenever he needed it.  
He hoped his soulmate felt the same way.

Not that Jake thought about it often, anymore. He was so used to it that he didn’t even notice it most of the time. When he needed comfort, he’d focus on its rhythm. Otherwise, he didn’t really pay attention to it.  
Until.  
Jake had been nervous all day, for no apparent reason. That in itself would have been alright, but it made morning skate nearly impossible. He wasn’t able to focus on anything. Nausea stirred his stomach, his hands were sweaty and shaking. It got so bad that he had to excuse himself after the first fifteen minutes and go sit on the bench to calm himself down.

It was there, when he tried to even his breathing and focus on his soulmate’s heartbeat, that he realized the nervousness wasn’t his. It was his soulmate’s.  
Somewhere out there his soulmate was scared to death, and he couldn’t do much to help.  
Jake tried his best to focus on keeping himself calm with breathing exercises and gentle stretching, so that his own heartbeat would stay steady. That was all he could do for his soulmate. After a while it seemed to help, too. The other heartbeat slowly settled.  
Happy that he could make himself useful, Jake returned back to the ice. He apologized Cassidy for his sudden departure, and continued focusing on their drills.

A sudden jolt of white hot pain impaled his chest. Jake dropped to his knees and gasped for air.  
Bergy was instantly by his side.  
“What’s wrong?”  
It took far too long to form words.  
“Hurts so much...” Jake gasped and swallowed hard. “My soulmate. Something’s wrong...”  
A long litany of Quebecois curses followed his words, then Bergy hollered at someone.  
Another jolt left Jake sobbing in pain. Two pairs of arms lifted him up and helped him towards the tunnel to get him back to the locker room. He barely registered being laid down on the floor, or that someone tried to undo his skate laces.

The next thing Jake knew was Cassidy’s head hovering above him.  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Bad.”  
“Nauseous?”  
“No. Just… Hurts.”  
“Bergy said it’s your soulmate. Are you absolutely sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
Coach leaned back and looked at someone, exchanging a few hushed words.  
“We’re gonna give you something for the pain,” Cassidy spoke to him again. “It won’t take it all away, but it should be enough to cut the edge of it.”

Jake felt tears run hot down from the corners of his eyes. Why should he feel any better? It wouldn’t help his soulmate.  
“Don’t,” he managed to whisper.  
Cassidy frowned.  
“Why?”  
“What for? He’s hurt. I want to know he pulls through.”  
“ _He_?” someone muttered, confused. Cassidy shot a sharp look at somewhere beyond Jake’s line of vision.  
“Not now, Gryz. Jake, are you sure about this? It would help you.”  
“But not him.”

Slowly he started to gain his focus back. His chest still felt like it was on fire, but now he could manage the pain.  
“It’s a little better now,” he muttered. “It’s over, I think. Whatever it was.”  
“Just lay down a little longer,” Coach instructed him. “Just in case. How can you be sure it’s your soulmate and not you?”  
Jake sighed and wiped away the tears. He got up to lean on his elbows to see the room, despite Cassidy’s worry.  
“I’ve been nervous the whole morning. I tried to focus on his heartbeat to calm myself down, that’s what I usually do. That’s when I noticed it wasn’t me.”  
“How do you know it’s a he?”  
“ _Matt_!”

It was the defenseman’s question that made Jake realize what he had said.  
“Did I -? Oh, Jesus. I don’t know?”  
“You don’t know?”  
“It’s just… a feeling. I can’t explain it.”  
Grzelcyk tilted his head and gave him a puzzled look.  
“Charlie’s getting that treatment done today, doesn’t he?” he pointed out.  
“Yeah. But why -” 

Jake’s blood ran cold. His heart started to flutter. Charlie? _Their Charlie_?  
“Oh my god,” he whispered. His symptoms made sense now. Charlie was having a treatment done for some kind of arrhythmia today. He couldn’t remember the correct term, but Chucky had promised them it was a standard procedure and wouldn’t be dangerous at all.  
Considering the heartbeat had slowed down before the pain, he at least knew that Charlie had been placed under anesthesia. That was good, he thought, wishing he’d been knocked out as well.  
“I’d love to say that’s a coincidence,” Cassidy started, bringing Jake back to reality, “but that would be one hell of a coincidence. How are you holding up?”

Jake blinked.  
“Me?”  
“Yeah, you,” Marchy rolled his eyes at him and grinned. “Not that tiny little bastard behind you.”  
He almost turned to look. Almost.  
“There’s no one behind me, idiot. Only tiny little bastard here is you.”  
“Hey!”  
“Anyway. I’m… Fine? I guess. The pain is almost gone, so that’s something.”  
Coach nodded slowly.  
“That’s good. But that’s not exactly what I meant.”  
“Oh. Right. I don’t know? It’s a lot.”

Truth be told, now that the information finally started to sink in, Jake was mortified. First of all, they were talking about one of his best friends. Secondly, pretty much everyone knew, thanks to Gryz pointing it out. Thirdly…  
“Not a word to my dad,” he warned the team. “He’d kill us both.”  
“You’re his son,” Pasta pointed out.  
Jake shook his head.  
“I’m his _only_ son,” he corrected. “He loves my sisters and lets them do anything they want with their lives, but I’m a guy. He expects a lot from me.”  
“Does he say that?”  
“He doesn’t have to.”

While Jake appreciated Pasta’s positive view on his family dynamics, the forward was wrong. Jake didn’t have the heart to continue the discussion, however, knowing his friend had lost his own father a few years back. Even though Pasta didn’t tend to show it, Jake was sure the loss still hurt.  
“Even if he was ok with it, he might let something slip by accident,” Jake reminded the team. Having a sports commentator as a dad had its downsides. Proud or disgusted, in the end it wouldn’t matter. He might say something during a broadcast, and Jake’s career would be over before it properly began.

 

* * *

_Hi! I saw you were online so I thought I’d-_

_Hi, how are you feeling? -_

_Is it weird to say I missed you? :D-_

_I hope everything went well and that it doesn’t hurt anymore-_

_Hey. I was thinking about you and -_

Jake sighed and erased the words again before throwing his phone on the bed. He was definitely overthinking this. It shouldn’t have been hard to come up with a proper greeting for a friend. Then again, things were much more complicated than that.  
He nearly jumped as the phone beeped.

_Were you going to say something or should I go to bed without a goodnight? :D_

Charlie’s message drew a laugh out of him.

_It’s 6pm man :D_

_Can’t do anything, doctor’s orders. I’m bored af, might as well sleep_

Jake smirked.

_U can’t even play Fortnite??? :,,,(_

_Nope :,,,( Too stressful_

_Damn. But r u ok?_

_I’m fine. Just bored out of my mind. Wanna get back to skating asap_

_Feel u bro. We miss u_

_Miss u 2 <3_

Jake forced himself to take a few deep breaths to keep himself calm. The worst thing he could do to Charlie right now was to get nervous, let alone let him know they were supposedly soulmates. That wouldn’t help him stay calm during his resting period. Jake didn’t want to even think about what it could do to him. To _them_? 

_The more u sleep the sooner u get back :)_

_That’s what I was thinking_

_Well shut up then and sleep :D_

_Already trying but my phone is going off every 30 sec ;D_

_Whoops, sorry :D_

_No ur not :P_

_Am too. Sleep tight, or something <3_

_I’ll try, or something <3_

Jake put away his phone and pressed his face against the pillow. The heartbeat next to his own fluttered.

* * *

Luckily Charlie was cleared up for practice quickly. Everyone was happy to have him back, Jake most of all. He didn’t have time to talk with Charlie about anything, though, since Cassidy whipped all the rest of them harder than ever before. And after practice Jake was so exhausted he nearly passed out on the bench as soon as he sat down. He barely registered what Coach said to the team before leaving them to gear down.  
“He’s going hard on you,” Charlie grinned at Pasta.  
“You need to get well faster,” the forward muttered as he took off his skates.  
“Oh I wish I could, believe me. Staying home nearly drove me crazy.”  
“It drove us all crazy,” Grzelcyk laughed. “I didn’t know you could text that fast.”  
“I was bored.”  
“Yeah. I noticed.”

Jake noted how Charlie seemed to absentmindedly massage his chest every once in a while. He wasn’t the only one to see it.  
“Does it hurt?” Bergy asked after a while, pointing at the defense-man's chest.  
“Huh? Oh, no. It’s just…”  
Charlie took a deep breath and stared at his hands.  
“I stopped feeling my soulmate’s heartbeat after the procedure,” he sighed. “They told me it might happen, but I didn’t think...”

Jake could feel everyone giving him a side-eye.  
“Wow, that sucks, man,” he managed to say. Understatement of the century, really.  
“Tell me about it. I mean, how many people are there? Seven billion? I’ll never find my soulmate.”  
“Unless they find you first,” Marchy shrugged. Jake shot him an icy glare, but the man shook his head as if to say he wasn’t going to take it any further than that anyway.  
Well, that was a first.  
“But still, what are the chances?”  
“About the same as with all the rest of us,” Backes smiled. “You’ll find your soulmate. Don’t worry.”  
“I’d prefer sooner rather than later,” Charlie huffed. “Considering my condition could’ve been serious.”

His words made Jake flinch.  
“But it wasn’t.” It came out more harsh than he meant to, but Charlie didn’t seem to notice.  
“Yeah, thank God. I would’ve lost it, trying to maneuver a heart condition, the end of my career, and trying to find my soulmate, all at the same time… People have given up on much less.”  
Jake’s breath hitched in his throat and tears started pooling in his eyes.  
“Don’t fucking say that.”  
“Wh-”  
“Do you think you can just give up and kill yourself because your life sucks?”  
“No, that’s not what I -”  
“You can’t just decide to take your life because you don’t know who your soulmate is! Maybe you can’t feel the heartbeat anymore but they can. How do you think they’re gonna feel if they suddenly stop feeling it too?”

Charlie stared at him like he had grown an extra head.  
“What the hell is your problem?” he demanded. “And how do you even know if they feel it anymore? Maybe the operation affected them, too. Oh, shit… Is that actually possible?”  
Jake closed his eyes. It would have been so easy to just tell him. To reassure him.  
But he couldn’t make his mouth obey. He felt sick.  
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Chara tried to calm Charlie down. “At least I have never heard of it happening. But you two should talk this through before you go.”

Jake swallowed hard.  
“I’ve got somewhere I -” he tried, but the captain’s glare was enough to kill the rest of the sentence before it got out of his mouth.  
Charlie sighed and got up.  
“My ride is waiting for me. And you know, it’s not a big deal. I get it: I should have thought it through before I said it. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
After Charlie left, Jake let out a breath he’d been holding and rubbed his face.  
“I’m a fuck-up...”

\- - -

Ryan rolled his eyes.  
“You’re not a fuck-up,” he declared and threw a pillow at Jake. “Anyone would freeze in a situation like that. I mean come on, you had a room full of guys.”  
“Yeah. Guys I know. Guys who know about… this.”  
“Doesn’t mean it’s easy,” Ryan shrugged and glanced at the TV. “Do you still want to play, or..?”  
Jake massaged his forehead.  
“Nah. Sorry.”  
“It’s good. We can talk some more.”

The younger player shut the console down and turned back to Jake.  
“You should tell him, though.”  
“I know.”  
“Asap, too. Like you said: not knowing is tearing him apart.”  
“Yeah, it’s just so hard.”  
“Why? I mean, it’s your soulmate, dude. You’re meant to be.”  
“He’s my friend. I can’t just go and say ‘hey, you know what, we’re soulmates – so, wanna make out or something?’.”  
Ryan massaged the bridge of his nose.  
“Come the fuck on. We’re friends, too. And if it were us, I’d expect you to be able to tell me.”

Jake leaned back into the cushions and stared at the ceiling.  
“But how am I gonna do it?” he muttered.  
“You’re making this way too difficult,” Ryan smiled. “You only need three words.”  
That made Jake snort.  
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too early?”  
The younger forward laughed and gave him a gentle hit on the shoulder.  
“Not _those_ three words, you idiot.”

\- - 

_We are soulmates_.  
Jake swallowed hard as he stared at the words, his thumb hovering over the send button.  
A sudden screech of car brakes startled him. The phone dropped on the floor.  
“Shit!”  
Jake grabbed it to check the screen for any damage. Luckily it was intact.  
Though the fall had caused the message to be sent.

His blood turned to ice. Well, there was no turning back now. Not that he wanted to, but he’d wanted to make the decision himself.  
At least it was done.  
Now began the waiting game, and that… That was even worse than gathering the courage to send the message in the first place.  
After checking the phone again Jake noticed the “sent” sign had turned into “received”. And right then it turned blue.

\- - 

Charlie hadn’t answered him at all, and he spent the night having one nervous breakdown after another. When he got to morning practice, Jake was convinced he would die the instant he was in the same room as Charlie. Or maybe even before that.  
Bergy frowned when he stepped into the locker room.  
“Are you feeling ok?” he greeted. “You look sick.”  
“I feel sick...” Jake muttered and looked around. There was no one else there. “I sort of messaged Charlie yesterday and told him. He hasn’t answered me.”  
“Maybe he hasn’t seen -”  
“He has. Right after I sent it.”  
The assistant captain wrapped his arm around Jake’s shoulders.  
“It’ll probably take him some time to adjust to the thought, that’s all,” the man suggested gently.  
“Yeah. I hope it’s just that.”  
Bergy gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before he let go.  
“I’m sure it is. Don’t worry.”

It was impossible for him not to worry, but he tried his best. If Bergy said it was going to be fine, it would probably be fine. He was so determined to focus on not worrying he didn’t notice at first that the assistant captain had said something.  
“Huh?”  
“Maybe he’s nervous as well. Maybe that’s why you feel so bad.”  
It took Jake a long while to register the words.  
“Just like when he had the operation done,” Bergy reminded him. “You felt how nervous he was, then the procedure itself. So maybe you feel his nerves now as well.”  
Jake gave the man the biggest hug ever.  
“I love you. In a completely bro way.”  
“Right back at you.”

\- -

When Charlie finally got there, Jake knew Bergy had been right; the poor guy looked even worse than Jake felt. He resisted the urge to walk up to him to hold him. Especially because Charlie didn’t give even a slightest glance to his way.  
Jake hit the ice as soon as he could to get his mind off of the situation and to calm at least himself down. There was nothing he could do to Charlie’s nerves.  
What if Chucky was nervous because he didn’t feel the same way, he thought, then forced the thought out of his mind. He was skating, training. There was no room for personal issues here. The arena was the temple of the Hockey Gods, the drills his way of worshiping them, the burn in his muscles his offering. He was a small part of a bigger picture, a cog in a machine – nothing more, nothing less.

Then his nerves settled. Jake turned and saw that Charlie was on the ice as well. So, he wasn’t the only one to leave everything else off the ice, then. He decided to test the waters, shot a puck in his way. Charlie caught it with ease and smiled a little looking at it, as if weighing his options.  
Before he reached any sort of resolution, however, Anders snatched the puck for himself and scooted away from them both.  
“Get your own, you dick!” Jake hollered at him. Anders merely laughed at him and passed to Noel. He rolled his eyes and turned to look at Charlie, but the moment was gone. The younger man had already turned his focus on something else. Jake shook his head to reset, then brought his thoughts back to the drills.

The nerves came back after the practice, at least Charlie’s. That was enough to make Jake worry about the situation again. He focused on changing and showering to stall. He couldn’t avoid it for the rest of the day, however, and all too soon he found himself with nothing to do to keep his mind occupied. Especially not after noticing that Charlie was looking at him intently, phone in hand.  
Jake frowned, checked his own phone, and found a new message from the younger player.

_Are you sure?_

_Not really. But let’s just say that the shit they did to you in the hospital hurt like hell without anesthesia. You’re lucky._

_Shit_

_Tell me abt it… Or don’t bc I know better. You were out._

From the corner of his eye, Jake saw Charlie run his fingers through his hair.

_Explains why you were so mad the other day_ , the defenseman sent then.

_I still overreacted. Should’ve taken it easy._

_Nah, I get it. Really. And I’m sorry I can’t say anything for sure because I just can’t feel a thing and it sucks. It felt nice. Safe, somehow._

Jake bit his lip but wrote his thoughts down before self-censorship struck too hard.

_U could hug me to borrow mine?_

Charlie chuckled and sent him a bunch of emojis.  
_I think I’d like that._

_Come here then._

_Why don’t you come here?_

_‘Cause you’re the younger one._

_F u_

_You too, idiot <3_

That made Charlie give him a stupid smile and come over to him. Jake buried his face against the younger man’s neck as soon as he was close enough, and he was suddenly able to breathe more freely than he had in a long time.  
“Maybe if you’ll test mine?” he whispered. “Maybe you’ll remember?”  
Charlie took a deep breath.  
“But what if I won’t? What if I never will?”  
Jake grabbed his hand gently and pressed it against his chest.  
“Just trust me,” he whispered. “Trust this.”  
Charlie closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.  
“Can you feel it?” Jake asked, and the younger man nodded.  
“Yeah. I can feel them both… The other one’s mine. Oh my god.”  
“See? I didn’t lie.”

Charlie smiled and gave him a bone-crushing hug. In Jake’s chest the two heartbeats intertwined, and he felt at peace.


End file.
